Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
the other day in one of my lectures this girl did the biggest fart and everyone started looking at her and she looked so embarrassed so the guy next to her took the blame for it and it was actually so cute in a weird sort of way
a guy walks into a bar
he’s an alcoholic and his wife leaves him
goals in life;
- have a friend who becomes rich and famous or
- be that friend
How is sponge bob a sponge if everyone in his family are chocolate chip cookies